What do you guys think makes you have the foulest most oderous farts EVER?!!! I'm not sure but off the top of my head anytime I eat onions (which I love) I have really stinky booty gas. Also sour cream. If I put it on tacos. OH LORDY!!! lol
Most amazing recipe ever:
Lots of trail mix (the kind with peanuts), beef jerky and cola.
My fiance had a farty party (I am not kidding) and here are his words of wisdom:
4 bowls of wieners and beans (for power)
5 hard boiled eggs (for flavour)
1 1/2 cup sauer kraut (for sustain)
and. . .
Black licorice (for spice)
I love that man of mine.
I read that most flatulence is swallowed air, so eat big bites really fast without chewing too much, gulping as much air in the process as possible. Poorly chewed food also takes longer to digest, so it putrefies at 98.6 degrees.
Other than that, anything with soy does it for me.
I wouldn't suggest taking big bites without chewing: that's the best way to choke on your food. In that respect, I'd say the best food to "gulp" down and be smelly is refried beans. It's also good to eat really dry foods during the day and then have a really greasy meal at night. The next day, the mixture should arise into some powerful gas (although probably not the most healthy of foods). Try chinese food with the thick sauce.
Years ago, a friend told me of a home remedy for mild to moderate hemorrhoids: garlic. Take a clove of garlic, score it down the sides, coat it with olive oil, stick it up your butt and leave it in overnight. In the morning, you poop it out and your 'roids should be much improved. Make sure you sleep alone that night, though, as your farts will kill anyone unfortunate enough to be in the same room with you.
If you like to play fart games in public, you could do this during the day and really get people talking/exclaiming their horror and disgust.
OK - after years of experience I can assure you the following is guaranteed to produce the most noxious farts imaginable. This is not for the faint of heart.....
You will need the following:
4 brussell sprouts
8 cabbage leaves
1/4 cup of 'three beans' mix
12 dried apricots
2 prunes (only two otherwise you're going to end up with a case of 'follow through' on your farts!)
1 boiled egg
1/2 bottle of warm beer
1/2 clove of garlic
and last but not least
1 xenecal tablet (this is a weight loss tablet available from the pharmacy. It causes your intestines to not absorb fats. It has amongst other things, a particularly nasty side effect of producing gas)
Start with the clove of garlic and glass of water. The clove of garlic should be of a size that you can swallow in one gulp with a large glass of water. Make sure it's sliced in half and there are no sharp edges. Swallow the clove with a full glass of water; then swallow the xenecal tablet.
Wait ten minutes. This is crucial.
Next, take the cabbage, and cook in the microwave. Don't over cook it. It needs to be about 3/4s cooked for maximum effect. You can let this cool. Cook the brussel sprouts by the same method, cooking them about 3/4's of the way.
Consume both together.
Next, the boiled egg. Salt to taste; consume with a 1/2 glass of water to wash it down.
now the three bean mix. This stuff is usually found in 'bean salad' You can cover this with a liberal coating of french salad dressing which will make it really tasty AND add to the effect as the oil in the salad dressing won't digest and will have the effect of turning your farts truly nuclear.
All right, finally; eat the prunes, and appricots and wash this all down with the 1/2 glass of warm beer.
For the next hour or so, drink a full cup of water every 15 minutes. This helps to force your concoction through your guts rather than letting it all backup and burp out.
Now --- wait. Give it about an hour or two. Three at most.
Then -- go to ikea. This part isn't necessary but I can assure you from personal experience, is highly rewarding!! Let me tell you about my experience in the childrens toy section: First, that 'bloated feeling' began to wash over me. As I was walking through the store (which as you probably know is one enormous maze) I had that distinct feeling that gas was going to pass..... In the childrens section i thought "Hmmm this looks like a good place to play 'evacuate the building' As the fart approached my anus, i swear to God it felt like it was on fire. I could literally feel this super heated gas pass.... and I immediately knew it was going to be deadly from the temperature alone.....
A nano second later I had to quickly leave the childrens section. The stench was unlike ANYTHING i have ever experienced! imagine sulphur, eggs, boiled cabbage and HOT DEATH with strong garlicy overtunes all mixed in one.... And this fart did NOT dissipate. It was almost as if it clung to the walls.
I watch in absolute delight as people would enter the childrens section and --- like running into an invisible brick wall -- Stop dead in their tracks
One guy yelled out "What the F*ck was that?!?"
You will continue to drop these little easter eggs for the next hour or so -- easily. I must warn you though... if you are sensitive to prunes you'll want to stay close to the facilities.
Good luck and happy farting