Farting is fun!'s topics - tribe.net

Kenny vs. Spenny

toddbaker — Thu, 15 Nov 2007 14:24:00 GMT

OMG - this show debuted late last night on comedy central. this is a contest between 2 roommates/lifelong best friends on who can outdo the other. the debut episode - who can blow the biggest fart.

these 2 did everything they could to outdo the other. they went to doctors, eat gassy foods, put a bike pump up thier ass and pumped air in - this was just crazy - i could not stop laughing

the show goes into its regular spot on sunday at 11:30 pm ET, but its not the same episode - but keep an eye out for this one!!!

posted in Farting is fun! - 1 reply

RECIPE FOR MOST SMELLY FARTS?

marvindublin — Sun, 11 Jun 2006 17:00:07 GMT

What do you guys think makes you have the foulest most oderous farts EVER?!!! I'm not sure but off the top of my head anytime I eat onions (which I love) I have really stinky booty gas. Also sour cream. If I put it on tacos. OH LORDY!!! lol

posted in Farting is fun! - 6 replies

Oh, horse farts!

varianpierce — Sun, 15 Jul 2007 21:09:57 GMT

http://www.break.com/index/horsefart23.html

posted in Farting is fun! - 0 replies

i just found a fart game

toddbaker — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 14:59:25 GMT

http://www.mousebreaker.com/games/lightthefarts/play.php

try it, its funny

posted in Farting is fun! - 0 replies

welcome a new member

toddbaker — Sat, 10 Feb 2007 03:19:21 GMT

Welcome new member carol. she is my friend from another site. ill hold her down while you all fart on her!!!

welcome carol

posted in Farting is fun! - 0 replies

be careful where you fart

toddbaker — Sat, 30 Dec 2006 19:29:42 GMT

Flatulence Allegedly Sparks Jail Fight
Sheriff Blames Overcrowding

POSTED: 7:29 am EST December 27, 2006

NORTH PLATTE, Neb. -- Brian Bruggeman caused a stink at the Lincoln County Jail in Nebraska earlier this month and will now have to answer for it in court.

Another inmate, Jesse Dorris, alleged that Bruggeman's flatulence -- passed in close proximity to Dorris -- sparked a Dec. 14 fight between the two at the jail.

Now Bruggeman, 38, faces a Jan. 11 preliminary hearing on the state's complaint of assault by a confined person. It's a felony punishable by up to five years in prison.

Bruggeman is accused of injuring Dorris, his cellmate, when he pushed him into cell bars. Dorris, 26, was not charged.

The two began scuffling, County Attorney Jeff Meyer said Tuesday, because Dorris was fed up with Bruggeman's flatulence. Jail fights are common, Meyer said, but the cause of this one was rather uncommon.

"It's usually about someone hogging the newspaper or someone not happy about what's on TV," he said.

Bruggeman is serving a 90-day sentence for violating a protection order.

"He compounded his problems," Meyer said.

Dorris is awaiting a January trial on a charge of aiding and abetting robbery.

Sheriff Jerome Kramer said the incident was a result of overcrowding. The jail was built in 1933 and has a capacity of 23 inmates, according to 2006 standards, Kramer said. As many as 65 inmates have been lodged at the jail in recent days, he said.

"You just can't get a reprieve from one another," Kramer said. "When you've got a guy causing problems passing gas, there's no way to get away from the smell."

posted in Farting is fun! - 0 replies

Looking for farters in NY

Mon, 18 Dec 2006 00:13:32 GMT

I really want to experiment with the eroticism of farts. I'm bi but would prefer females to fart in my face.

posted in Farting is fun! - 0 replies

July is National Baked Bean Month

varianpierce — Sun, 12 Nov 2006 20:30:46 GMT

For God's sake!
http://www.joe-ks.com/MultiMedia/BeansFart.mp3

posted in Farting is fun! - 0 replies

fart definitions

toddbaker — Tue, 07 Nov 2006 19:16:16 GMT

i found this site called the urban dictionary and it has 143 definitons for fart

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=fart

hilarious

posted in Farting is fun! - 0 replies

New to this tribe.

marvindublin — Sat, 10 Jun 2006 20:45:57 GMT

This is great! When I found it I thought "NO! This is to good to be true!" lol I put a few pix in the gallery. : )

posted in Farting is fun! - 7 replies

DOGGY POO THE MOVIE

marvindublin — Sat, 01 Jul 2006 03:04:04 GMT

http://www.doggypooworld.com/

Not about farts but this is kind of cute. My roommate wants to buy the dvd. What will they come up with next? lol

posted in Farting is fun! - 1 reply

FARTING TECHNIQUES

marvindublin — Sat, 01 Jul 2006 02:58:50 GMT

http://www.geocities.jp/takasusyachou/fart2/fartsmaster2.html

Fart / farting afficionados please click here for a special treat. lol

posted in Farting is fun! - 0 replies

poopreport.com : )

marvindublin — Sun, 25 Jun 2006 23:04:37 GMT

http://www.poopreport.com/Doctor/Knowledgebase/nottofart.html

FFL = Funny fart link : )

posted in Farting is fun! - 0 replies

Pull my finger

mikecousart — Fri, 07 Oct 2005 13:35:37 GMT

http://www.misternicehands.com/

posted in Farting is fun! - 1 reply

FART FART FART

Fri, 01 Apr 2005 08:05:51 GMT

Hey, how come no ones talking about this hot topic?
Come on now, lets start some discussion cheeky monkeys!!!!

Passing gas your way, Caito

posted in Farting is fun! - 5 replies

take the farting survey

toddbaker — Sat, 10 Apr 2004 14:10:17 GMT

http://members.lycos.co.uk/jacosurveys/

its funny, but be truthful

posted in Farting is fun! - 1 reply

Fart Jokes in movies or on TV

toddbaker — Wed, 14 Dec 2005 06:30:35 GMT

here are my 5 faves - feel free to add yours

5. The Nutty Professor (with eddie murphy) - the scene where they all take turns farting and the fat kid farts and the mom was like "hercules, hercules!!!

4. Family Guy - the episode where peter and brian win to get into the brewery (willy wonka parody) and had to fart to get out of the fan room

3. Family Guy - the episode where peter starts a fat man group and all the fat guys fart at the same time

2. South Park - the osama bin laden episode where the boys are suck on the plane when cartman farted and were there for like 18 hours and the airplane worker smells it, pukes and dies

1. Family Guy - the episode where brian was to have gotten lois' father's dog pregnant and peter wouldnt talk to brian so he surrounded him self in a case and farted and he passes out cause the fart cant escape

posted in Farting is fun! - 1 reply

Blind Date

mikecousart — Tue, 11 Oct 2005 19:21:05 GMT

http://www.StupidVideos.com/?VideoID=16

posted in Farting is fun! - 0 replies

Dude got game

mikecousart — Tue, 11 Oct 2005 19:03:10 GMT

http://www.StupidVideos.com/?VideoID=123

posted in Farting is fun! - 0 replies

Double Standard

mikecousart — Fri, 07 Oct 2005 13:33:39 GMT

http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=women_smell

posted in Farting is fun! - 0 replies

Married ...Just for tonight

Patrick_Harrigan — Sun, 02 Oct 2005 20:50:13 GMT

A man and a woman who had never met before, but were both married to
other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a
transcontinental train. Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over
sharing a room they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly; he in
the upper bunk and she in the lower.

At 1:00 AM, the man leaned over and gently woke the woman saying,
"Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into
the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold."

"I have a better idea," she replied. "Just for tonight, let's pretend
that we're married."

"Wow! That's a great idea!" he exclaimed.

"Good," she replied. "Get your own damn blanket."

After a moment of silence, he farted.

posted in Farting is fun! - 0 replies

Price of a LEXUS

mikecousart — Tue, 30 Aug 2005 17:46:59 GMT

A lady walks into a Lexus dealership and browses around. Suddenly
she spots the most perfect, beautiful car and walks over to inspect
it.

As she bends forward to feel the fine leather upholstery, an
unexpected little burst of flatulence escapes her. Very embarrassed,
she anxiously looks around to see if anyone has noticed and hopes a
sales person doesn't pop up right then. As she turns back, there standing
next to her is a salesman. With a pleasant smile he greets her,

"Good day, Madame. How may we help you today?"

Trying to maintain an air of sophistication and acting as though nothing
had happened, she smiles back and asks, "sir,what is the price of this
lovely vehicle?"

Still smiling pleasantly, he replies, "Madame, I'm very sorry to say that if
you farted just touching it, you are gonna shit yourself when you hear the price."

posted in Farting is fun! - 1 reply

Cropdusters Unite!

varianpierce — Mon, 08 Aug 2005 17:10:04 GMT

Cropdusting for fun & profit!
http://www.punchbaby.com/media/gitfakt/clips/adult/fartPorn.mpg

posted in Farting is fun! - 1 reply

Historical farts

clearmenser — Mon, 22 Aug 2005 03:16:43 GMT

1601 by Mark Twain
http://www.gutenberg.org/etext/3190

posted in Farting is fun! - 0 replies

dotfart

mikecousart — Thu, 28 Jul 2005 19:34:59 GMT

http://www.dotfart.com/

posted in Farting is fun! - 2 replies

we need a slogan

toddbaker — Fri, 04 Feb 2005 20:26:13 GMT

how about

"live to fart, fart to live"?

any other suggestions?

posted in Farting is fun! - 12 replies

Here I sit with my hands on my knees!

DEUS — Mon, 13 Jun 2005 08:05:58 GMT

give my buns a festive squeese and out it comes like rotten cheese!

lets do farting and poo poo poetry!you know like the graffiti in the stalls it will be fun!

posted in Farting is fun! - 5 replies

President Bush and Queen Elizabeth

mikecousart — Thu, 14 Jul 2005 17:51:24 GMT

At Heathrow Airport in England, a 300-foot red carpet was stretched out to Air Force One and President Bush strode to a warm but dignified handshake from Queen Elizabeth II.

They rode in a silver 1934 Bentley to the edge of central London where they boarded an open 17th century coach hitched to six magnificent white horses.

As they rode toward Buckingham Palace, each looking to their side and waving to the thousands of cheering Britons lining the streets, all was going well.

This was indeed a glorious display of pageantry and dignity.

Suddenly the scene was shattered when the right rear horse let rip the most horrendous, earth-shattering, eye-smarting blast of flatulence, and the coach immediately filled with noxious fumes.

Uncomfortable, but maintaining control, the two dignitaries did their best to ignore the whole incident, but then the Queen decided that was a ridiculous manner with which to handle a most embarrassing situation.

She turned to Mr. Bush and explained, "Mr. President, please accept my regrets... I'm sure you understand that there are some things even a Queen cannot control."

George W., ever the Texas gentleman, replied, "Your Majesty, please don't give the matter another thought. You know, if you hadn't said something I would have assumed it was one of the horses."

posted in Farting is fun! - 0 replies

things that make ya go tttfffffffffffffpt!

DEUS — Sun, 10 Jul 2005 05:05:33 GMT

Damn I done shyte me britches again thats the last time a dine out with Ronald & friends! I dont know how Wimpy and Hamburgler do it!

posted in Farting is fun! - 0 replies

Train Fart (Joke)

shakti411 — Mon, 04 Apr 2005 16:22:33 GMT

A man and a woman, who have never met before, but are both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train.

Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly... he in the upper bunk and she in the lower.

At 1:00 AM, the man leaned over and gently woke the woman saying, "Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold."

I have a better idea," she replied. "Just for tonight, let's pretend
that we're married."

Wow! That's a great idea!" he exclaimed.

Good," she replied. "Get your own damn blanket!"

After a moment of silence, . . . he farted.

posted in Farting is fun! - 2 replies

Say did you hear the one about!

DEUS — Mon, 25 Apr 2005 02:33:21 GMT

its been 5 hours since I ate two greasy whoppers from Burger King
and boy is my ass tired! I'm afraid I might need a new colon after tonight! boy, tell you what! Next time i'll put on some rollerskates and
poot my way around SOMA

posted in Farting is fun! - 7 replies

Robodump

mikecousart — Sun, 20 Mar 2005 15:17:18 GMT

I saw this on the pranks tribe and thought you all might enjoy this too
http://www.triggur.org/robodump/

posted in Farting is fun! - 0 replies

robots

oobiesam — Sat, 12 Mar 2005 19:45:27 GMT

has a GREAT farting scene. good movie ovcerall, for adults more than kids i think. the kids loved it, but alot went right over thier heads to the adults laughing our heads off. but again - the fart scene is classic!
enjoy

posted in Farting is fun! - 1 reply

Baked Beans

shakti411 — Mon, 14 Mar 2005 17:28:49 GMT

Baked Beans

Once there lived a woman who had a maddening passion for baked beans. She loved them, but unfortunately, they had always had a very embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction to her.

Then one day she met a man and fell in love. When it became apparent that they would marry she thought to herself, "He is such a sweet and gentle man, he would never go for this carrying on."

She made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans. Some months later her car broke down on the way home from work. Since she lived in the country she called her husband and told him that she would be late because she had to walk home.

On her way, she passed a small diner and the smell of the baked beans was more than she could stand. Since she still had miles to walk, she figured that she would walk off any ill effects by the time she reached home. So, she stopped at the diner and before she knew it, she had consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the way home she putt- putted and, upon arriving home, she felt reasonably sure she could control it.

Her husband seemed excited to see her and exclaimed delightedly, "Darling, I have a surprise for dinner tonight. He then blindfolded her and led her to her chair at the table. She seated herself and just as he was about to remove the blindfold from his wife, the telephone rang.

He made her promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned. He then went to answer the telephone. The baked beans she had consumed were still affecting her and the pressure was becoming almost unbearable, so while her husband was out of the room she seized the opportunity, shifted her weight to one leg and let it go.

It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill. She took her napkin and fanned the air around her vigorously. Then, she shifted to the other cheek and ripped three more, which reminded her of cooked cabbage. Keeping her ears tuned to the conversation in the other room, she went on like this for another ten minutes.

When the telephone farewells signaled the end of her freedom, she fanned the air a few more times with her napkin, placed it on her lap and folded her hands upon it, smiling contentedly to herself.

She was the picture of innocence when her husband returned. Apologizing for taking so long, he asked her if she peeked, and she assured him that she had not.

At this point, he removed the blindfold, and she was surprised!! There were twelve dinner guests seated around the table to wish her "Happy Birthday"!!!

posted in Farting is fun! - 1 reply

wtf????

toddbaker — Thu, 27 Jan 2005 18:28:03 GMT

did anyone else notice that because of the tribes main photo, one of the connected tribes is grilling out??? not sure i wanna eat any of that??

lol

posted in Farting is fun! - 3 replies

Sugar Alcohol Is Butt Fuel

Fox Muse — Thu, 10 Feb 2005 20:39:15 GMT

WOO!!!

I'm telling you. If you ever try out the low carb thing... sugar alcohol is the replacement in most LC products- life savers, protein bars, shakes...

And if you're not aclimated to it, you'll hover over your office chair ever two to three minutes from big, round, percussive farts- not unlike the timpanis.

BOM-bom-BOM-bom-BOM-bom-BOM-baaaahmbmbmbmbmb...pth

posted in Farting is fun! - 2 replies

zen koan

cole — Sat, 29 Jan 2005 21:21:13 GMT

If we can act the part to fart from our mouths...
why then can we not pretend to burp from our asses.

posted in Farting is fun! - 1 reply

my 18 month old son

toddbaker — Thu, 27 Jan 2005 18:23:40 GMT

the other night, me and my girlfriend were changin our son. he had bad diarreah. so i sat by his head and held his feet up while she wiped his butt. after she was done, she asked him if he felt better and, with his legs in the air, blasted a long and loud fart. then he started laughing

hee hee hee, like father like son

posted in Farting is fun! - 1 reply

oh man

beebalalou — Wed, 26 Jan 2005 04:54:57 GMT

okay
so i'm on yahoo
filled out my profile
and because
i have a sense
of humor
under hobbies
i listed a variety
of things
including farting
so
don't you know
i begin getting
messages
from men who
want me to fart
in their face

posted in Farting is fun! - 5 replies

Slot farts

deniziadigatti — Wed, 26 Jan 2005 03:40:45 GMT

For the girls.

When we fart while sitting, and it sneaks up the slot and out the top. Truly a disconcerting feeling.

posted in Farting is fun! - 3 replies

Deviled Egg Farts

Thu, 20 Jan 2005 05:56:28 GMT

There's not too many farts more ripe than those. I notice this every time I eat alot of them.

posted in Farting is fun! - 2 replies

favortie farts

cole — Sat, 06 Nov 2004 08:49:45 GMT

does anyone have an all-time favorite fart?

i do. i once farted a major triad. A, C#, and E.... one chord all at once.

Tah dah.

this really happened.

anyone?

posted in Farting is fun! - 20 replies

my hero!

cole — Sun, 21 Nov 2004 02:03:09 GMT

a true "fartist"!

this guy made a living at it!
http://www.ooze.com/ooze13/petomane.html

posted in Farting is fun! - 0 replies

introducing!......

cole — Fri, 05 Nov 2004 23:37:13 GMT

cole.

pppffttthhhttT!

my asshole is to farting as...
the stradovarious is to the symphony.

so pleased to find this tribe.

posted in Farting is fun! - 7 replies

fart ettiquette

beebalalou — Mon, 13 Sep 2004 05:41:48 GMT

okay
so i met some
new people
recently
one of em
was tootin
the silent
smelly
kind
normally
if i know
that person
i say 'okay who's smellin' up the place?'
or some idiotic crap like that
but
when you
don't really
know someone
ya can't
point it out
that they farted
it kinda
sucks
and there's the
really lots of
quietness
when the smell
comes
y'know
like special
fart tension
what the hell?

posted in Farting is fun! - 5 replies

A family that farts together. . .

Wed, 08 Sep 2004 04:51:38 GMT

My father had quite a silly sense of humor and passed his love for farts and fart jokes on to his 4 youngest offspring.

I am please to see that this joy has been passed to yet another generation of our family. I was helping my 5 year old nephew get dressed after his shower. He was having none of it -- running around naked and swinging his little boxers over his head like a lasso. He tried to fart on me and then proclaimed "I'm gonna ask Santa for someone to fart on EVERYday!"

Warms the cockels of my heart. . .

posted in Farting is fun! - 3 replies

I just farted.

Happy Mel — Thu, 09 Sep 2004 04:11:05 GMT

oops, I did it again.

posted in Farting is fun! - 3 replies

milk farts

madamegonzaga — Wed, 08 Sep 2004 03:22:07 GMT

Hath enny biddy noteesed zat milk farts ar more robust und burbly zen reggular fartings?

posted in Farting is fun! - 3 replies

ok fess up........

toddbaker — Sun, 29 Feb 2004 23:48:01 GMT

who farted?

posted in Farting is fun! - 5 replies

farting limericks

Katharine — Tue, 07 Sep 2004 18:47:41 GMT

There was a young man from Sparta
Who was the most incredible farter
On the strength of one bean
He could fart 'God Save the Queen'
and Beethoven's 'Moonlight Sonata'

Taa daa.

hic hic parp!

posted in Farting is fun! - 0 replies

nice

beebalalou — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 14:54:55 GMT

last night
while applying lotion
before bed
i could hear
my dear husband snoring
suddenly it stops
and
*prrrrtttt
and then the snoring resumes
marriage is beautiful

posted in Farting is fun! - 2 replies

gamble and lost

piggyrat — Thu, 19 Aug 2004 04:16:57 GMT

Oh God - Nooooooooooo ;-)

http://www.kontraband.com/show/show.asp?ID=1291&NEXTID=0&PREVID=1344&DISPLAYORDER=20040601170415&CAT=movies&NSFW=

posted in Farting is fun! - 0 replies

pull my finger

piggyrat — Fri, 04 Jun 2004 05:05:47 GMT

Pull my finger and other funnies.

http://www.amishdonkey.com/pull-my-finger.php

posted in Farting is fun! - 3 replies

a good fart story

beebalalou — Fri, 09 Jul 2004 20:27:36 GMT

college yoga class
so we get into this new pose thingy
you curl up in a ball, on your back
and you rock
back and forth
whoa!
fart machine in the making
i know i wasn't the only one that night

posted in Farting is fun! - 5 replies

baby farts

beebalalou — Fri, 09 Jul 2004 20:06:49 GMT

i am a sort of recent new mom
the thing i really enjoy
was my kidlet farting very audibly in public
it was always good for a giggle
oh yeah,
i'm new
and i love farts!
except when my husband puts his ass near my face
and lets one fly
makes me wanna kick his ass!

posted in Farting is fun! - 0 replies

Farty foods

deniziadigatti — Wed, 30 Jun 2004 18:41:14 GMT

I got into this discussion at work the other night, and we all related things that we have eaten, and then lived with the aftermath.
The worst ever for me was Quaker instant peaches and creme flavored hot cereal. It is delicious, creamy, and sweet, (the food, not the fart!)
But the next day...aw jeez, all I can say is that it even repelled me.

Now, let's hear yours!

posted in Farting is fun! - 1 reply

Focus people focus

piggyrat — Thu, 24 Jun 2004 01:00:13 GMT

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/focus.php

Send to your everyone you know that works in a cubical with loud speakers. ;-)

posted in Farting is fun! - 1 reply

Public Bathroom Experience...

Sun, 13 Jun 2004 06:58:32 GMT

There I was, alone, in a public bathroom sitting on the toilette ready to take a nice big dump. The first thing that came out was a fart, a really big juicy one, pretty stinky too, like a rotten egg. I thought it was funny so I giggled a bit out loud. The second thing that came out was an even bigger fart, the kind that'll wet your pants if you happen to be wearing any. So at this point I can't hold it in anymore and I'm laughing at myself pretty loudly. I think I even threw in an "Oh yeah baby" for good measure. In part in satisfaction of have laid two really big, really stinky farts, and in part in amazement at having realized I didn't have to shit all along, I just had to fart. So I stand up, zip up, and walk out of the stall to find some poor guy standing there not knowing what to do. I thought I was alone!! I'm still laughing, now in embarassment, and he starts laughing too.

This was the most satisfying non-sexual experience i've had in a public bathroom in a long time...

posted in Farting is fun! - 3 replies

things to say after farting

toddbaker — Sat, 10 Apr 2004 14:39:25 GMT

Things to Say After Farting

there is a US Airforce custom of saying, "Howdy!" after farting in flight, to assure one's colleagues that one's intentions are peaceful.

Jimmy K. tells of a friend who says, "Speak to me, oh, toothless one!" Similarly, Bazzbull says, "Speak to me, ol' toothless wonder!" And EHALL says, "Oh, toothless one! Your voice has changed but your breath is still the same!"

TGeaber says, "It's that asshole talking behind my back again!" And Roman K. says, "Did you hear what that asshole said?!" Eimiee2 says, "Some asshole is talkin' shit behind your back."

Gpgo and his frat brothers say, "Oops! A sudden loss in cabin pressure!"

Murray E. sends this account of a response to belching: "Once, when Dorothy Parker was at a dinner, a man burped quite loudly she is reported to have looked at him and said, 'why didn't you use the other end and save your teeth?'"

According to BSneed, after Czechs let out a silent fart, they announce the fact by saying, "Soytka," to let their friends know they might be smelling something. The word refers to a kind of little bird.

According to Rodney Y., his father says after farting, "Speak up, Asshole - Don't take that shit!"

Another father, that of LeNaye, says the following: "There's a kiss for you!" or "The ducks are calling." or "Damn frogs..."

When someone else farts, Mack says, "Oh, stop your bragging!"

According to Chris, the thing to say in northern England after farting is, "More tea, Vicar?"

Ron C.'s father, a Royal Navyman, would say, "Don't worry - plenty for all!"

Bill J. and Matt K. say, "When farts are transported past another while still engulfed in one's pants, one should ask the perpetrator, 'Are you draggin' skags??'"

According to Marci, Rodney Dangerfield said, "Hey, did somebody step on a duck?" in Caddyshack.

According to Brandon P., in Mexico, what you say is, "Reza por tu alma porque tu cuerpo ya esta podrido." This means, "Pray for your soul because your body is already rotten."

Glen B. suggests announcing, "AQA!" which means "air quality alert!"

Joel D. and his college friends say, "Take that, underwear!" or would substitute other victims such as atmosphere, pants, ozone layer, nose etc.

According to Rowan E., in the Australian army one says, "Keep calling, Sir! We'll find you!"

Altond had a high school friend who would say, "Catch that and paint it blue!" And in the army, when a person farted, someone would say, "Colonel who?"

David H. says that before you fart, you should say, "Did you hear that?" and when the other person says, "What?" you let it rip.

If someone else produces a particularly odiferous emission, ifartoften says you should say, "What crawled up in you and died?"

GMR reports hearing this one in Scotland, "Well, there's no point in having an arse if you can't let it rejoice in song!"

posted in Farting is fun! - 4 replies

Food Allergies?

hjioumlautrds — Sun, 09 May 2004 07:22:52 GMT

But what about food allergies? Food allergies are the number one cause of farting, yes?

I think I have an allergy to Fudge!

posted in Farting is fun! - 4 replies

Don't Fart!

kimikimkim — Wed, 19 May 2004 16:58:20 GMT

okay...i think farting is...well, as everyone here might, FUN!

but i tell ya...there have been some instances where i just don't wanna fart. the LAST thing that i want to have happen in whatever setting i'm in, is to be flatulent.

the instance that comes to mind most readily is when one is in bed with a new lover. of course a situation like this could be made FUN....i have an ex-lover that might have a fart story or two involving me...but a NEW lover? one you don't quite know the boundaries of, yet? oh no! i don't wanna fart!

any others?

posted in Farting is fun! - 6 replies

airplanes

oobiesam — Mon, 10 May 2004 06:47:23 GMT

i had posted somewhere else on this site, that i was curious about farting on a plane, and if it made smell.
well - you can ask my fellow passengers - what they thought of that horrible disgusting person on thier flight today. indeed, you do smell the fart!

posted in Farting is fun! - 1 reply

a new funny

oobiesam — Sun, 02 May 2004 20:10:53 GMT

http://www.auburn.edu/~shephcd/whatyouare.html

frosty - its the same one, just thought i'd share the love

posted in Farting is fun! - 4 replies

whats your fave to fart?

toddbaker — Thu, 04 Mar 2004 15:22:30 GMT

i like farting in the tub, love them bubbles

posted in Farting is fun! - 12 replies

I like to fart!

Mandola — Wed, 11 Feb 2004 21:33:59 GMT

Cat and I spent the night at Jason's house so all three of us were squished in his double bed and Jason and I were passed out and Cat said it was like we were having a conversation with our farts. She was just about to fall asleep and she was spooning me and I farted on her leg and made her jump. Whoops!

Ah, the joy of farts!

posted in Farting is fun! - 14 replies

yeah!

frostiquelump — Sun, 18 Apr 2004 22:37:37 GMT

http://www.gibbleguts.com/harmonics/

posted in Farting is fun! - 2 replies

who farted?

toddbaker — Sat, 10 Apr 2004 14:35:35 GMT

He who smelt it
Dealt it.

Whoever smelt it,
Dealt it.
He who denied it
Supplied it.

You said the rhyme -
You did the crime!

Whoever said the rhyme
Did the crime.

The smellers
The feller!

You said it,
You let it!

He who detected it
Ejected it!

whoever snooped it
Pooped it!

"The dog always digs up the bone."

"The skunk smells his own hole first."

"The fox smells his own hole first."

Who farted? Me mammy,
Dae it again son,
Me cannae,
God bless your wee bum.

The one with a gaseous demeanor
Is the one with the smell that is meaner!!

I can only attest
To a smell that is best!

posted in Farting is fun! - 0 replies

everything you ever wanted to know about farts

toddbaker — Sat, 10 Apr 2004 14:32:40 GMT

www.thefart.com/more.html

do fish fart?
how long does it take for a fart to travel to someone elses nose

shit like that

posted in Farting is fun! - 0 replies

fart psyche 101

toddbaker — Sat, 10 Apr 2004 14:23:45 GMT

Fart Psych 101

There are many types of people who fart every day. It's your job to identify them, point them, out, and call them by name! (Assuming it wasn't you who did it, of course!) Here's a quick run-down of the type of people you're likely to catch farting around you on a daily basis:

The Vain Person: One who loves the smell of his own farts.

The Amiable Person: One who loves the smell of other people's farts.

The Proud Person: One who thinks his farts are exceptionally fine.

The Shy Person: One who releases silent farts and then blushes.

The Impudent Person: One who farts loudly and then laughs.

The Scientific Person: One who farts regularly but is truly concerned about air pollution.

The Unfortunate Person: One who tries awfully hard to fart but poops instead.

The Nervous Person: One who stops in the middle of a fart.

The Honest Person: One who admits he farted but offers a medical reason for it.

The Dishonest Person: One who farts and then blames the dog.

The Foolish Person: One who suppresses a fart for hours and hours.

The Thrifty Person: One who always has several farts in reserve.

The Anti-Social Person: One who excuses himself and farts in complete privacy.

The Strategic Person: One who conceals his farts with loud laughter.

The Sadistic Person: One who farts in bed and then fluffs the bed covers over his bed mates head.

The Intellectual Person: One who determines from the smell of his neighbor's fart precisely the latest food item he consumed.

The Athletic Person: One who farts at the slightest exertion.

The Miserable Person: One who would truly love to but can't fart at all.

The Sensitive Person: One who farts and then bursts into tears.

The Bruiser: One who farts so hard and loud that he bruises his butt cheeks.

posted in Farting is fun! - 0 replies

celebrity farts

toddbaker — Sat, 10 Apr 2004 14:21:01 GMT

Have you ever noticed that dogs often bear a striking resemblance to their owners? Similarly, farts often bring a certain person to mind. Read on, and I think you'll get the picture. Or at least a whiff of the picture.

The Bill Clinton Fart:
Deny, deny DENY!

The Monica Lewinsky Fart:
A fart occurs. There is a denial, accusations, and a big investigation. Later it is revealed that evidence has been left behind, undeniably implicating the person who really farted, and embarrassing those who participated in the cover-up.

The OJ Simpson Fart:
A double-fart occurs, and it's a very ugly scene. Evidence is not only found at the scene, but in in the underwear of the perpetrator, who claims that those who investigated the fart have planted the evidence. The farter vows to search and find the real farter to show that he is innocent, but all leads point back to the originally accused farter, with the evidence in his pants.

The Don King Fart:
The farter is nearly knocked out by his own fart -- and is left with the Don King hairdo and wide-eyed look.

The Dr. Laura Fart:
For the sake of your children, you left the room to fart. When you returned, you explained to them that you are sorry you left for a moment, but it was the responsible thing to do to protect their well-being.

The Jack Kevorkian Fart:
You emit a series of fart, each growing louder and more painful than the last. You begin to pray that the next one will be you last.

The Sadam Hussain Fart:
You strongly suspect that biological warfare has begun, and call for United Nations inspectors... and CNN.

The Truman Show Fart:
You get the strange feeling that although you are alone, someone may be watching. When you feel a fart coming, you decide to give them an audio/visual display that they won't forget.

The Dennis Rodman Fart:
Something's green, and you know it really shouldn't be.

posted in Farting is fun! - 0 replies

send a farting ecard

toddbaker — Sat, 10 Apr 2004 14:14:09 GMT

www.fartsrfun.com/Ecards/Ecards.html

posted in Farting is fun! - 0 replies

the fart chart

toddbaker — Sat, 20 Mar 2004 17:06:12 GMT

www.funkypages.com/fartchart/index.php

posted in Farting is fun! - 2 replies

fart video

toddbaker — Sun, 28 Mar 2004 21:16:58 GMT

www.stupidvideos.com

video #182, natural gas

i laughed so hard, that i, yes its true, farted

posted in Farting is fun! - 2 replies

Busted!..Farting on the elderly

swampcamper — Sun, 28 Mar 2004 06:05:17 GMT

I was walking out of Red Lobster with my girlfriend and I had an explosive gas attack. As usual, I added exclamations of-Oh God..(pppffff)..oh yea...(FFPP)...ahhh ahhh...(platplatfizzz)..OH God, that one HURT!!ect. My girlfriend was in front of me, BUT there was an elderly couple (in horror) behind me. The women had her face in her hands and the man was shaking his head in discust. I high fived my old lady as we agreed "I ROCK"!!

posted in Farting is fun! - 1 reply

The farting evangelist

SummerSaharSupaStar — Wed, 24 Mar 2004 01:39:03 GMT

A friend of a friend made this a long time ago, and I was privelaged to see the uncut version (all the internet versions I found cut the preacher off halfway through the original version). Fuckin' hilarious!
http://www.religionisbullshit.com/2004_02_05_archive.php
I almost peed my pants.

posted in Farting is fun! - 3 replies

Pussy Farts

Sunburn — Thu, 12 Feb 2004 05:13:54 GMT

Oh my god, Pf's..

Don't you hate it, when you are getting all down and dirty, and then, you shift your position and that trapped air "pops" out with audible noise from your "cave of love"?

Always causes me to burst into laughter, totally ruining "the mood", but I can't help it! :)

posted in Farting is fun! - 6 replies

even funnier fart list

toddbaker — Mon, 22 Mar 2004 01:43:37 GMT

www.fartnames.com

posted in Farting is fun! - 0 replies

best fart joke

toddbaker — Fri, 20 Feb 2004 23:01:08 GMT

what is the best fart joke you've seen in movies or on tv?

1. liar liar when he came out of the elevator and said "IT WAS ME!!!!!"
2. family guy - episode where brian gets lois' dad's dog pregnant and peter wont talk to him, so he surrounds himself in a case and farts, then passes out after
3. same episode, when mort sniffs the dogs ass and says "oh my god, she farted and it went down my throat"
4. south park - when cartman makes kyle kiss his ass and rips a big one "oh my god i felt it on my face" that was the baby cow episode
5. family guy - episode where peter becomes president of his company and they have martha stewart as thier maid, and when the family runs out martha says "finally" and rips a big one

anyone else?

posted in Farting is fun! - 9 replies

the fart machine !

reese — Mon, 01 Mar 2004 05:52:42 GMT

my aunt is a CHAMPION !!! a gold-metal FART champion !!! she lives in Toronto so I asked her to tape them for me so I could laugh ... the memory alone kills me ... lollll !!!!

I have the GREATEST link to contribute here :

wait until it loads .... then CLICK on EACH speaker and ENJOY !!! :

http://www.wavhounds.com/fartmachine60.html

please share your comments * lolll !!!

posted in Farting is fun! - 2 replies

Farting: Ice or Deal Breaker?

yma — Thu, 11 Mar 2004 02:40:18 GMT

Personally I think people ought to fart more to be truly happy. I mean how can you really be overly serious about anything when you've just ripped one.

Total tension breaker!

There should be 'farting is fun' courses for overly serious folk! Mandy, it may be your calling!

Yma

posted in Farting is fun! - 2 replies

funny fart story

toddbaker — Mon, 23 Feb 2004 19:53:56 GMT

one day I was at WIC appoint with my fiancee and son. he was still young (hes 7 months now) anyway I picked him up out of his car seat and he ripped a long and loud one. the other lady in the office, who was young herself, and pregnant, shot me the dirtiest look.

I didnt say anything, but I hope her kid dont ever fart

posted in Farting is fun! - 3 replies

ffffffWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAPPPP!!!!!!

Thu, 19 Feb 2004 15:07:11 GMT

aromatic garlic farts!

posted in Farting is fun! - 2 replies

this cant be real!!!!!

toddbaker — Fri, 20 Feb 2004 07:40:54 GMT

OMG..... a tribe for just me!!!!!!!! FARTING..... if ya knew me yous understand. PAssing one is my hobby, no my career. If only people understood us farters more better, this world would be a peacefule place (smelly too)

oops just ripped one

posted in Farting is fun! - 1 reply

Office Farts

shannond — Thu, 12 Feb 2004 03:30:10 GMT

Or how about when you fart in your office, then someone walks in and you have to like, get out you hand cream or something real quick and try to rub mounds of the stuff on you to cover up the smell. Damn.

posted in Farting is fun! - 2 replies